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Kid Scientist Proves Conclusively Tom Brady Is Filled With Hot Air

If you’ve ever had the chance to attend an elementary school science fair, you’re probably well-acquainted with what the brainpower of third and fourth graders can produce – usually with the help of a parent or two.

You have your windmills made out of popsicle sticks, dioramas of the solar system built inside cardboard boxes with colored Styrofoam balls hanging from strings. And maybe if you’re lucky, one of the kids is playing around again with Mentos and soda.

But Ace Davis, a 10-year-old aspiring quarterback from Millcreek Elementary in Lexington, Ky., had a different idea. He decided to focus his school project on deductive science by combining one of his loves (football) and one of his aversions (Tom Brady) into a case file determined to prove the New England Patriots icon is a cheater.

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Specifically, Davis honed in on Deflategate, the investigation which sought to prove Brady’s complicity in doctoring footballs used in the AFC Championship Game against the Indianapolis Colts in 2015.

To be fair, Davis began the product by admitting something which would have prompted his recusal from the case in a court of law.

“I hate Tom Brady,” said Ace said. “He’s been accused of cheating before. I want him to be caught.”

Of course, his point of view likely prevails in some districts in the court of public opinion that have traditionally had a problem with the way the Patriots do business and the preponderance of Super Bowls that have resulted.

But Davis pressed ahead and ultimately came to the conclusion that “under-inflated footballs provide a competitive advantage.”

His supposition was supported by charts and graphs of experiments he conducted with the help of his family. They threw footballs inflated to varying weights, measured the distance of each toss and calculated the average. He found flatter footballs flew the farthest. He has his corroborating evidence.

His closing argument hammered home the substantive point: “The Patriots were found guilty of doctoring football [sic], thus losing $1,000,000 and future draft picks. Tom Brady is indeed a cheater.”

In a move likely made to hammer home his point, Ace included a photo of Brady weeping and another of him making a dopey face.

And to bring it all full circle, he included a picture of himself in a football uniform with a green checkmark and then put a red X over the defendant’s photo.

When he was asked about it all by NFL Draft Diamonds, Ace was pretty upfront about his motivation.

He says his favorite QB is Jameis Winston of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and he believes Joe Montana is the greatest QB to ever play the game.

He thinks the reason his project received so much national attention was because it was funny, people are tired of watching Brady in the Super Bowl and Julian Edelman, perhaps Brady’s favorite receiver, takes steroids.

With the Patriots headed to Atlanta this weekend to prepare for another Super Bowl, this time against the Los Angeles Rams, Ace offered a prediction.

“Edelman pushes everyone around, (Rob) Gronkowski gets shut down, (Todd) Gurley runs for two touchdowns, Brady plays terrible – three interceptions and the Rams win 30-14.”

Ace also said he would share this message with Brady: “Gimme some of your money, you don’t deserve it.”

And with that, he rested his case.

Impressed by the painstaking research, the judges awarded him first place and moved him on the second round of the playoffs – the district.

However, the prosecution of Brady was just one example of how bad a public relations week it’s been for the Patriots.

During Wednesday’s Pro Bowl Skills Challenge, the Pats mascot, Pat Patriot, was floored by a jarring tackle by New York Jets safety Jamal Adams. Adams said he was joking around, making light of the heated, but definitely one-sided, rivalry existing between the AFC East rivals.

Although there was no flag (our NFL officiating joke), the person inside Pat Patriot (sorry to burst your bubble) was taken to the hospital for evaluation.  

“He was running around and everyone was booing him,” Adams told ESPN. “So I said, ‘You know what? Let me go tackle him.’ I didn’t hit him that hard, man. All jokes aside, I didn’t hit him that hard. …but they tell me he’s in the hospital.”

“My intention was never to hurt him. it was all about just a joke but I definitely want to check on him and make sure everything is good. At the end of the day, we were out here just having fun and it wasn’t nothing intentionally to try to hurt the guy.”

Adams posted a video of the incident on Twitter saying it was dedicated to all Patriots haters.

Not a good week for Patriots Nation.

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